Experts have identified four attachment styles to define how people relate to their romantic partners. Unfortunately, only one of these styles is healthy. Understanding the potential causes, characteristics, and effects of insecure attachment styles can be an important step toward developing healthier relationships.
What Are The 3 Types of Insecure Attachment Styles?
The general consensus among experts is that there are four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Research suggests that about 58% of people have a secure attachment style. Let’s take a look at what relationships may look like for the more than 4 out of 10 people who have insecure attachment styles:
Anxious Attachment Style
Anxious attachment style is sometimes referred to as preoccupied or anxious-ambivalent attachment style.
Research indicates that inconsistent parenting during a person’s infancy and childhood can be a risk factor for developing anxious attachment style. Overly protective parenting and parenting that places the caregiver’s need for emotional closeness over that of the child have also been identified as potential precursors to anxious attachment style.
Characteristics of people who have anxious attachment style include:
- Prioritizing their partner’s needs over their own
- Blaming themselves when their partner fails to recognize or respond to their needs
- Needing continuous reassurance from their partner that they care about them, which may manifest as clinginess or an inability to be alone
- Being jealous or suspicious of their partner due to a pervasive fear of abandonment
- Overreacting to minor conflicts or problems in their relationships
Avoidant Attachment Style
Avoidant attachment style, which is sometimes referred to as avoidant-dismissive attachment stye, may result from the failure of parents or other caregivers to meet an infant’s basic needs for food, clothing, shelter, and emotional support.
When parents ignore a child’s needs, the young person may respond by becoming excessively self-reliant, to the point that they are unable to fully engage in healthy relationships later in life.
Someone who has an avoidant attachment style may act in the following ways:
- Refusing to ask others for help
- Being unable to express their emotions in a healthy manner
- Prioritizing their personal and career development over their relationships
- Preferring casual interactions or short-term flings over extended relationships
- Withdrawing when a partner expresses a desire for greater emotional intimacy
Disorganized Attachment Style
A disorganized attachment style is sometimes described as a fearful-avoidant attachment style. It is often associated with parental neglect or abuse. People who develop this style may have experienced or witnessed violence or other forms of trauma (which are often referred to as adverse childhood experiences, or ACES) at a very young age.
The following could be signs that someone has a disorganized attachment style:
- Having a negative opinion of themselves and others
- Being unwilling to open up to their partners or be emotionally vulnerable
- Acting in an abrasive, selfish, or otherwise off-putting manner, which can be a subconscious attempt to undermine their relationships and “prove” that they are unworthy of being loved
- Entering into relationships with manipulative or abusive partners
- Alternating between a deep desire to form a meaningful connection with their partner and an attitude of detached indifference
About the Attachment Theory
Attachment theory originated with British psychoanalyst John Bowlby, whose early work focused on the emotional pain that infants expressed when they had been separated from their mothers and fathers. Bowlby postulated that young children who do not perceive that their parents are “nearby, accessible, and attentive” will experience anxiety and exhibit problematic behavior patterns.
In the 1980s, researchers began to apply Bowlby’s work to adult relationships. As we alluded to in our reviews of anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles earlier in this post, studies suggest that the failure of parents to properly care for and support their children during their infancy may have a lasting negative impact on the children’s ability to form healthy romantic relationships when they become adults.
Effects of These Insecure Attachment Styles
The negative impact of insecure attachment styles can begin when a person is still a child and persist throughout the rest of their life.
Childhood
During childhood, the negative effects of insecure attachment styles can include the following:
- Impaired ability to socialize properly with other children
- Acting with aggression, impulsivity, and/or hostility
- Difficulty concentrating and focusing
- Increased likelihood of being bullied or otherwise victimized by peers
- Poor academic performance and frequent conduct problems in school
Children with insecure attachment styles may also be at elevated risk for several mental and behavioral health disorders, including anxiety, depression, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), conduct disorder, and oppositional-defiant disorder (ODD).
Adulthood & Relationships
Insecure attachment styles have also been associated with myriad problems in adulthood, such as:
- Pattern of unsuccessful romantic relationships
- Poor self-confidence and low self-esteem
- Substance abuse and addiction
- Dysfunctional relationships with their children
- Diminished opportunities for career advancement
Adults with insecure attachment styles may also be impacted by a variety of mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Are Attachment Styles Treatable?
Adults whose lives have been negatively impacted by insecure attachment styles can benefit from various forms of therapy. Depending on each person’s specific needs, their treatment for insecure attachment may focus on concerns such as:
- Resolving the emotional pain of untreated childhood trauma
- Replacing maladaptive thought and behavior patterns with healthier ways of thinking and acting
- Improving their capabilities in areas such as distress tolerance and emotion regulation
- Developing more effective parenting skills
- Addressing their struggles with anxiety, depression, or other co-occurring mental health concerns
With proper care and a concerted effort, people can transcend the constraints of insecure attachment styles, learn how to form and maintain healthy relationships, and achieve a much more satisfying quality of life.
Contact Montare About Treatment for Insecure Attachment Styles
Montare Behavioral Health offers a full continuum of customized services for adults who have been struggling with a variety of mental and behavioral health concerns, including insecure attachment styles.
At multiple convenient locations throughout southern California, our treatment centers are safe and supportive places where you can receive personalized care from highly skilled and compassionate professionals. We understand that insecure attachment styles affect different people in different ways, and we are committed to providing you with the focused services that will address your unique needs.
To learn more or to schedule a free assessment, please visit our Contact page or call us today.
