An individual wearing a orange hoodie is experiencing long-term effects of narcissistic abuse.

The Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

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Begin abused or neglected by someone you thought you could trust can undermine your ability to enjoy a full, satisfying life. If you have been victimized by someone with a substantial ego and minimal empathy for others, you may be living with the long-term effects of narcissistic abuse.

What is Narcissistic Abuse?

To understand the potential long-term effects of narcissistic abuse​, it’s important to first establish some basic facts about what narcissistic abuse consists of, and what it means to be a narcissist.

First, narcissistic abuse is a form of harassment and manipulation that is perpetrated by someone who has narcissistic tendencies. Verbal, emotional, and psychological maltreatment are among the most common forms of narcissistic abuse, but the behavior can also include physical, sexual, social, and financial violations.

Narcissistic abuse can look different from one case to the next, but common examples include:

  • Love bombing: This involves over-the-top displays of affection, which may include giving expensive gifts and other elaborate gestures, which are often followed by periods of emotional distancing and indifference.
  • Isolation: Narcissists often attempt to prevent or significantly limit their victim’s interactions with friends, family members, and colleagues, which can cause the victim to become overly reliant on the perpetrator.
  • Shifting blame: Narcissists are unable to admit that they are ever at fault. When something goes wrong, whether it is completely accidental or clearly the fault of the narcissist, they will blame the victim.
  • Scapegoating: This is a form of blame shifting that may occur in families with a narcissistic parent. This form of abuse singles out one person – usually, but not always, a child – to blame for everyone else’s problems.
  • Gaslighting: Narcissists will look you straight in the eye and tell you that abuse you endured never actually happened, or that your reaction to it was excessive and inappropriate. 
  • Projection: Some narcissists regularly accuse others of having flaws that they, themselves, exhibit. For example, if you have a jealous or otherwise controlling narcissistic partner, they may claim that they are actually the victim of your envy or micromanagement.
  • Rage: When all else fails, narcissists often fall back on rage. This may include verbal harassment, threats, and actual acts of violence. When the rage passes, the narcissist is likely to blame the victim through statements such as “look at what you made me do.”

Traits of a Narcissist

Reviewing the examples in the previous section can give you a general glimpse into how a narcissist might act. But what, exactly, does it mean to be a narcissist? 

As defined in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) a person must meet at least five of the following criteria to be accurately diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD):

  • Having a grandiose sense of importance
  • Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, beauty, and similar characteristics
  • Belief that they are special and should only associate with others of equally revered status
  • Needing continual and excessive praise
  • Expecting favorable treatment and automatic compliance with requests
  • Exploiting others to achieve their own goals
  • Inability to empathize with others
  • Envying others and believing that others are jealous of them
  • Acting in an arrogant or haughty manner

It is difficult to convince someone with NPD that they need treatment, so it’s likely that most people who have this condition have never received a diagnosis.

What Are the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse? 

The long-term effects of narcissistic abuse can be influenced by a range of factors, such as your relationship with the narcissist, how long the abuse took place, what types of abusive behaviors the narcissist inflicted on you, and how old you were when you were subjected to the abuse.

With these factors in mind, common potential long-term effects of narcissistic abuse can include:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Persistent shame or guilt
  • Self-doubt
  • Difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships
  • Diminished performance at work or in school
  • Pervasive sense of helplessness and hopelessness
  • Self-harm and/or suicidal ideation

The long-term effects of narcissistic abuse can also include physical symptoms such as disrupted sleep patterns, frequent headaches and stomach aches, and recurring muscle tension

The Long-Term Effects of Childhood Narcissistic Abuse 

Being exposed to narcissistic abuse at any age can have a powerful negative effect on your health and well-being. But if you were the victim of childhood narcissistic abuse – which likely involves being mistreated by a parent or other caregiver – the results can be particularly distressing.

Possible long-term effects of childhood narcissistic abuse can include:

  • Delayed psychological development
  • Anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health concerns
  • Pattern of codependent or otherwise toxic relationships 
  • Inability to set and maintain healthy boundaries
  • Difficulty trusting other people
  • Feeling the need to be a “people pleaser” to demonstrate your worth
  • Substance abuse and other maladaptive coping mechanisms

The good news is that it’s possible to overcome these and other long-term effects of narcissistic abuse. For some people, healing is the result of self-care. For others, professional treatment may be necessary. 

There’s no right or wrong way to heal from this type of abuse – your focus should be solely on finding the approaches that work best for you.

5 Ways to Heal From the Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse 

Here are five steps that can help you heal from the long-term effects of narcissistic abuse:

  1. Separate yourself from your abuser: Depending on who your abuser is, it may be difficult to fully remove them from your life. But getting adequate separation is essential. You can’t begin to fully heal if you are still being subjected to narcissistic abuse.
  2. Reconnect with people who truly care about you: If your abuser isolated you from family and friends, reconnecting with your loved ones can make a world of difference. Having the support of people who truly care about you can help you to process your experiences and rediscover your inherent value.
  3. Incorporate acts of self-care into your daily life: Mindfulness, meditation, healthy nutrition, and enjoyable physical activity are examples of the myriad self-care techniques that can help you heal from the effects of narcissistic abuse. Caring for yourself is a way to remind yourself that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.
  4. Schedule an assessment with your doctor or a mental health treatment provider: If your experiences with narcissistic abuse contributed to PTSD, suicidal thoughts, or other mental health concerns, it is a good idea to consult with a trusted professional. They can assess your needs and recommend appropriate treatment options. 
  5. Be patient with yourself: Healing takes time, and the process is rarely straightforward. Significant steps in a positive direction may be followed by setbacks or other challenges. Set small, achievable goals; celebrate your successes; and give yourself the same grace that you would extend to a loved one who was in the midst of a similar experience.

Contact Montare Behavioral Health to Treat the Effects of Narcissistic Abuse

If you have been struggling in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, Montare Behavioral Health is here for you.

Our network includes several trusted and respected mental health treatment centers in southern California and Arizona. In each of our locations, you can receive personalized care and focused support from a team of highly skilled and deeply compassionate professionals. With our help and a concerted effort on your part, you can overcome your emotional distress and begin to live the healthier life you deserve. To learn more or to schedule a free consultation, please visit our Contact page or call us today.

Published: 1/31/2025